Monday, November 24, 2014

Anak Mak Dah Besar : Part 3

I used to have the phase of my-ambition-is-to-be-a-perfect-mom when we only had Eirsa around. When things get emotionally beyond control, I also have this moment that I always regret; yelling at my kids. I regret it because I know, when the syaiton takes control over my emotion, the yelling is basically to satisfy my anger and it's no longer about the kids' behavior. It hits me even harder thinking what have I contributed to the kids' development when yelling is totally a no-no? Ya Allah, please grant me patience, O Allah you are the best Protector of my heart.

And as I grow up as a mother (5+ years into motherhood now) I learn that motherhood/parenthood is about knowing the right things for your child, doing the best as a parent and the rest is to go with the flow and to leave it to Allah. You can never control everything. Every phase of your child(ren) development is different, this method is effective now but not later. That method is effective with your 1st child but not with others. Really, the kids are learning, so are we.

Throughout the time we learn that it's the voice tone and consistency in our actions are the best and the most workable for both our girls. If we don't want Eirsa to do certain thing, we state it in a firm voice tone and the stand has to be consistent every single time. And. The stand has to also be applicable to Eivie too, even though she's still too young. Really. This has to be done to portray our seriosness and fairness. For instance, if Eirsa needs to pick up her toys, then Eivie has to do the same too. No age selection. She'll get the same punishment if she doesn't want to do as per 'rule' says. For instance, if she refuses to pick up her toys and will I refuse to bancuh her milk. I'll stand up there for 5 good mins waiting her to pick her toys until finally she does. No mercy man, no mercy. It's not some kind of if you want me something from me, you have to do as I said. No. It's more like I've aksed her to pick up her toys but she refuses and stubbornly sticks to her decision. Later she wants something from me (for instance, susu) and now baby, you'll see who's the boss. Pick it up or no susu. Ha. Lebih kurang macam tu.

And don't forget to reward them with good words like thank you, good job and if the financial and time is right, bawa pergi makan di kedai and some toys. It's motivating and they'll feel appreciated. It's just that mind the fine line between rewarding and bribing.

With Eirsa, she's a good follower. May be she's not when she's younger especially during 'trouble two' but she rarely spoke those days. She mumbled. Hence we did not know exactly her response in the form of words when she disagreed. She would just cry or throw things or mengamuk. At the age of 5 now, it's easier to talk to her and for her to follow our instructions and rules. Even though sometimes her actions are accompanied by tears. But she gets things done. Well done.

With Eivie, it's a different case altogether. Because she knows how to respond back in word and she knows how to manipulate too, even at the age of two. She will eventually grumpily follow, but she will still want to project her dissatisfaction. She will always have to say something. And usually it's funny because she'll unintentionally do it in a very cute way. And I have to tahan gelak or tahan senyum; not to spoil the important teaching moment.

And many times, once she finally gets what she wants after having to go through the correct things that I ask her to do, she'll say,

"I don't want to friend you forever."

or

"I don't like you (pointing at me), you (pointing at papa), you (pointing at Eirsa). And you also (pointing at opah)."

Nak tahan gelak is always a struggle with this mini-me weh!

Solat pandai, menjawab pun pandai, ini orang

3 comments:

Amyz Azlie said...

Eivie ni kelakar lah. Hahahaha. Don't want to friend ye. 5 minute after, dah main sama2 kan.. :D


Despite all the kerenah, tantrum dan tak mahu kemas toys,

When he say, mama, alam minta maaf.

Tu je. Dah. Ok. Mama dah tak marah dah.

:-)

Ahsuez said...

Memang lemah hati kalau anak-anak jadi sweet, kan Mama Alam?

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