Which Parent Are You?

Bila ada anak-anak kecil, eating is all about putting food in your mouth, chewing and swallowing, while avoiding to get choked. Dah tiada zaman kau mengamati butiran nasi, menghirup sup sambil memikirkan kurang garamkah terlebih ajinomoto kah, mengirai helaian mee sambil menghembus-hembusnya supaya lekas sejuk. It's all about speed and precision. Ha ha.

Eating out without opah and atuk equals to eating out without iPad or tab. No gadget but papers, pens and pencils. Kalau terlupa bawak, pinjam kat kedai. Kalau tak de juga, ha lantak sana. Hadap je apa yang ada. Tu pun hanya boleh menabahkan budak berdua ni selama hmmm... tak lebih dari 15 minit. Selebihnya sama ada papa makan dulu atau mommy makan dulu. Our standard faham-faham sendiri practice is papa will eat first while mommy looks after the kids.

Ini dua orang perut sudah kenyang, lalu yang belakang sekali itu boleh makan dengan tenang.

And I actually like this arrangement. One of the perks is I can take my own sweet time finishing my meal. Kunyah halus-halus, telan perlahan-lahan, teguk air tanpa sedak. But the cons are my food will be cold when my turn finally comes and sometimes I don't even get the chance to eat my food because the kids prefer mine than theirs and I have to eat their food. But it's ok. Janji aku kenyang.

Seronok kot akhirnya dapat makan. Muka buruk pun, buruk lah.

Dah tua ni aku makan asalkan kenyang dan tidak memudaratkan. Haha. Jika mahu bersenang-senang waktu makan, kami akan makan berdua sahaja.

So, which parent are you?

Anak Mak Dah Besar : Part 3

I used to have the phase of my-ambition-is-to-be-a-perfect-mom when we only had Eirsa around. When things get emotionally beyond control, I also have this moment that I always regret; yelling at my kids. I regret it because I know, when the syaiton takes control over my emotion, the yelling is basically to satisfy my anger and it's no longer about the kids' behavior. It hits me even harder thinking what have I contributed to the kids' development when yelling is totally a no-no? Ya Allah, please grant me patience, O Allah you are the best Protector of my heart.

And as I grow up as a mother (5+ years into motherhood now) I learn that motherhood/parenthood is about knowing the right things for your child, doing the best as a parent and the rest is to go with the flow and to leave it to Allah. You can never control everything. Every phase of your child(ren) development is different, this method is effective now but not later. That method is effective with your 1st child but not with others. Really, the kids are learning, so are we.

Throughout the time we learn that it's the voice tone and consistency in our actions are the best and the most workable for both our girls. If we don't want Eirsa to do certain thing, we state it in a firm voice tone and the stand has to be consistent every single time. And. The stand has to also be applicable to Eivie too, even though she's still too young. Really. This has to be done to portray our seriosness and fairness. For instance, if Eirsa needs to pick up her toys, then Eivie has to do the same too. No age selection. She'll get the same punishment if she doesn't want to do as per 'rule' says. For instance, if she refuses to pick up her toys and will I refuse to bancuh her milk. I'll stand up there for 5 good mins waiting her to pick her toys until finally she does. No mercy man, no mercy. It's not some kind of if you want me something from me, you have to do as I said. No. It's more like I've aksed her to pick up her toys but she refuses and stubbornly sticks to her decision. Later she wants something from me (for instance, susu) and now baby, you'll see who's the boss. Pick it up or no susu. Ha. Lebih kurang macam tu.

And don't forget to reward them with good words like thank you, good job and if the financial and time is right, bawa pergi makan di kedai and some toys. It's motivating and they'll feel appreciated. It's just that mind the fine line between rewarding and bribing.

With Eirsa, she's a good follower. May be she's not when she's younger especially during 'trouble two' but she rarely spoke those days. She mumbled. Hence we did not know exactly her response in the form of words when she disagreed. She would just cry or throw things or mengamuk. At the age of 5 now, it's easier to talk to her and for her to follow our instructions and rules. Even though sometimes her actions are accompanied by tears. But she gets things done. Well done.

With Eivie, it's a different case altogether. Because she knows how to respond back in word and she knows how to manipulate too, even at the age of two. She will eventually grumpily follow, but she will still want to project her dissatisfaction. She will always have to say something. And usually it's funny because she'll unintentionally do it in a very cute way. And I have to tahan gelak or tahan senyum; not to spoil the important teaching moment.

And many times, once she finally gets what she wants after having to go through the correct things that I ask her to do, she'll say,

"I don't want to friend you forever."

or

"I don't like you (pointing at me), you (pointing at papa), you (pointing at Eirsa). And you also (pointing at opah)."

Nak tahan gelak is always a struggle with this mini-me weh!

Solat pandai, menjawab pun pandai, ini orang

Anak Mak Dah Besar : Part 2

During a site visit

The kids passed by 1Utama Shopping Center twice a day; while on the way to and fro their preschool.

I'm on duty as their supir throughout this week. And every time we passed by this building, Eirsa will say, "Asyik tak pergi Oh An Eee je, Asyik tak pergi Oh An Eee je..." Oh An Eee is for ONE which is referring to 1Utama. And every single time I'll also explain that you cannot go there everyday, you have to have money to go there, you cannot go there by yourself because mommy and papa have to work, if you go there everyday you'll get bored, yada yada yada. Explain, not bebel. They have got the chance to go to 1Utama once in while, we don't really bring kids to shopping centers often.

And yesterday while passing by 1Utama,

When Eirsa is 8 years old, Eirsa dah big, I want to go to Oh An Eee by my self.

And how do you want to go there? By bus?

Mommy gives Eirsa telephone, then I'll call mommy when Eirsa kat Oh An Eee la. Then mommy come and take Eirsa la.

Where do you get a telephone? You have to buy your own telephone first.

Hmmm... I wonder where she gets this idea in the first place.

Anak Mak Dah Besar; Fizikal, Mental dan Emosi.

Eirsa is at the phase where she can easily feel ignored and thus feel like everybody loves Eivie more.

It breaks my heart every time she comes to me saying that this person only plays with Eivie, this person only gets angry at her while both of Eirsa and Eivie fight, this person doesn't say 'good job' to her but rather to Eivie only. I will always give her a big long hug every time she comes to me, teary, together with explanation and words of encouragement, of course.

* * *

As as child, one of the worst memories that I had was to feel less loved by my father. I was quite frequently told by some of my aunties that my father loved my elder sister more than me. I did not know the reason though. I made me very sad, even though my father was no longer staying with us since I was 5 (I guess). It broke my heart every time when my sister and I fought, it triggered that I would be punished more because I was the less-loved child.

Thankfully, mak treated us all five equally. No more no less. That always gave me the strength that I was not always ignored. At least there's a person in this world loved me unconditionally.

* * *

And when Eirsa feels the same, it is totally relatable. It's my responsibility to ensure her that, no baby, we love you both equally, at least mommy and papa do. In fact we have loved you more for 3 years, when Eivie wasn't around (yet). The feeling of being ignored shall never bring you down, because you have to know that we are always here for you. Don't let others make you feel any less, because you don't deserve to. And above all, Allah loves you.

And yes, I know this is one of her development and learning processes, thus I'm determined to make the best for her.

On a more relieving note, Eirsa dah sangat boleh diharap sekarang! She helps a lot to take care of Eivie when I'm busy doing the house chores (less yelling, screaming and fighting episodes too), she helps to attend to Eivie's needs at the backseat while we are on the move, she helps cleaning up after playing (not perfectly done and sometimes with bebelan when Eivie doesn't cooperate, but still) and anything that I request her to. Anything that she can do by herself she will. Mandi sendiri, buang air kecil dan besar, beristinja' semua sendiri. Alhamdulillah. Lega sikit. Terima kasih, Eirsa!

Anak sulung dah besar. Anak kecil pun mengaku diri sudah besar padahal berak masih dicebok orang.
Dua-dua pun saya sayang sama rata.

Menguruskan (Bukan Tubuh Badan)

Kadang kesian juga terpaksa mengangkut si dua kecik ni ke hulu ke hilir sebab nak menguruskan hal rumah baru. Tapi disebabkan mereka kelihatan happy je, tak de la tebal sangat perasaan bersalah. Dan. Bila memikirkan rumah tu untuk mereka berdua juga, boleh lah nak digagahkan lagi mengangkut. Cuma kesian tetap kesian. Kita yang besar ni rasa penat, mereka apatah lagi (walaupun secara zahirnya aku tengok elok je melompat berlari sampai ke malam. Pffft..)

Menguruskan rumah sebelum ini, I was heavily pregnant with Eirsa. Masa tu memang berat, tapi nak bergerak tu lebih ringkas. Masa tu memang cepat penat, tapi boleh berehat sekejap dan sambung semula, sampai ke malam. Tidak perlu memikirkan pasal budak, sebab budaknya senang dibawa ke hulu ke hilir di dalam kantung.

Tapi kali ini proses menguruskan rumah baru dah bertindih dengan proses menguruskan dua orang budak ni ha. Dah kalau namanya bawa budak-budak, memanglah berkicauan suasana. Kalau suara saja yang kuat, boleh tahan lagi. Tu, kaki tangan tu, sama kuat. Kuat berlari kakinya, kuat membelek tangannya. Dalam erti kata lain, jika dikekang, bakal menghuru-harakan kedai yang kami singgah-singgah. Ada tuan kedai tak kisah dengan budak-budak, ada yang depan mak bapak dia buat tak kisah tapi belakang dia jeling-jelingkan anak-anak aku (aku perhati, ok! jangan nak bermuka-muka sangat), ada yang depan-depan aku diaorg soundkan bebudak. Tak de la nak marah tuan kedai, tapi rasa tak best nak survey kalau dah anak-anak begitu aktif dan tuan kedai mula menunjukkan rasa tak senang. Hati aku pon silap-silap boleh jadi panas.

Oleh itu. Kena la membawa bekal fizikal, emosi dan mental dalam bentuk pelbagai. Nasib baik atuk dan opah ada iPad dan tab, boleh pinjam. Sebagai tambahan, kami bawakan buku-buku, sebagai ubat duduk diam. Nasib baik buku-buku hasil beli di Big Bad Wolf tahun lepas masih ada lagi. Buku-buku lama biasanya dah tak berapa laku kat budak-budak ni. Kalau ada buku-buku baru, baru ralit.

Tu pun tak lama, dapat lah duduk diam 30 - 45 minit. Kemudian dengan tiba-tiba menyerap semula ke dalam badan, satu bentuk tenaga tahap tinggi, mana dapat entah. Datang semula tenaga untuk berlari, melompat, macam baru makan gula sesenduk. P.E.N.G.S.A.N.

Masa-masa yang waras untuk kami membincangkan hal rumah baru adalah masa-masa seperti berduaan dalam kereta pergi dan balik pejabat, masa-masa take five di pejabat, masa-masa lepas makan malam sementara bebudak ni melompat atas katil, masa-masa beginilah yang kami selitkan untuk bincang hal-hal rumah baru. Tapi boleh lah. Progress rumah baru alhamdulillah berjalan juga despite all the chaos. Haha. Chaos. Sememangnya chaotic when you are working and at the same time have to look after two tak-duduk-diam, kids! Eirsa tu boleh lah disogokkan dengan kertas dan pen lalu dia akan menulis. Eivie tu tak ada benda yang boleh bagi dia ralit lebih dari 30 minit. Semuanya cepat membosankan.

Dah lepas seharian mak bapak penat, budak-budak pun penat dek mengikut mak bapak, kita bagilah sikit ganjaran. Ganjaran yang murah, menggembirakan walaupun ada unsur tidak berapa sihat sedikit. Sekali sekala, tak apa lah. They deserved it.

Calories Burning - The Alternative

What did you do when you go to Ikea?

Getting some ideas?

Window-shopping?

Browsing?

Actually DID some shopping?

Budgeting?

Killing time?

Bonding time?

Looking at people's behavioral (wow!)?

Pretending to know about stuffs?

Taking measurement?

Taking measurement for a millionth times?

Taking selfies and posting it to social medias? (dengan niat bermegah-megah aku-dah-sampai-sini-hoi! atau mungkin tidak, saya tidak judge anda)

Planning for the new house?

Planning to revamp the current house?

Planning to revamp your mom's house for as a surprise birthday gift?

Dreaming?

Or.

Sleeping, like these two did?

I was actually scheduled for a 5km running->jogging->walking->crawling TM Fan Run last Saturday. But I've got chickened out several weeks prior to the event, disebabkan langsung tak training hapah benda hamjadah pun sejak bulan puasa. Kot ye pun semangat kobar, aku masih kenal hati budi stamina sendiri.

Thus, I scheduled another form of calories burning activity cum aktiviti menggembirakan anak-anak cum tengok calon-calon perabot untuk rumah cum breakfast session; at Ikea.

Arrived at 8.40am, breakfast started at 9.00am, continued buat macam rumah sendiri di seluruh pelosok Ikea afterwards until 12.30 pm. After acah-acah surveying (survey apakah namanya kalau 80% of the time entertain budak-budak sahaja), one thing for sure; we needed to find other candidates for our dining set and sofa. It's either the price didn't suit with our budget or the cheaper options were not at par with our angan-angan tinggi tak sedar benchmark. And another thing for sure, benda-benda yang pasti akan dibeli di Ikea memerlukan satu lagi sesi membeli-belah yang lebih serius dan fokus dan tenang dan waras (read : sesi tanpa anak-anak). And another another thing for sure, the kids had fun there, lalu kuota bergembira mereka telah dipenuhi untuk minggu ini.

Lagi gambar-gambar kegembiraan.

Lagi 8 minit sebelum pintu dibuka. Ni yang dinamakan pepagi lagi dah pergi beraya rumah orang tuan rumah pun tak bangun lagi.

Dah besar sikit, layankan je permintaan untuk guna pisau garfu sendiri, dengan pemantauan secara terperinci dan kadang-kala boleh mengundang sakit hati si pemakai.

Yang ini pun sama. Asalnya mahu taraf yang sama dengan si 5 tahun Eirsa, padahal awak baru 2 tahun, pisau lebih panjang dari lengan. Sebagai alternatif, mommy bagi peluang bercomot-comot menyuap sup sendiri. And Ikea was being thoughtful by supplying this disposable bib for free!

Dan ada kalanya budak-budak ni tak nak makan. Mak dan bapak kau kena la lebih kreatif bagi menampakkan aktiviti memakan itu adalah satu aktiviti yang menggembirakan, bukan setakat aktiviti bermain sahaja ya menggembirakan. Berikan kayu aiskrim/pengacau kopi, lalu jadilah lollisausagepop. 

Acara wajib, lebih kurang highlight of the day. Gitu. Sekarang aiskrim ni dah semakin murah, RM0.80 sahaja.

It Has Been A Gazillion While...

... and suddenly I write again.

Alah. Blog picisan, kau update atau tak, bukan ramai peduli. Tapi yang sikit yang memberi perhatian tu memang saya sangat sayang. 

Eirsa.

Eirsa ni sebenarnya boleh dikatakan benyek sikit la. Benyek ni macam lembik sikit; her solution to everything in the world is menangis dan merengek. May be being the first and 3+ years without any siblings dan dimanjakan. Well. Not really dimanjakan, I have to say that we are quite strict about certain things juga la. Tapi tu la, tetap mengungguli tumpuan selama tiga tahun lebih.

Dan dengan adanya Eivie, she took quite some (long) times to adjust in sharing love and attention with someone else. Not quite easy but alhamdulillah, improving from time to time. As of Aug 2014, mereka berdua kini sudah menjadi teman bermain walaupun adakalaselalunya menjadi teman berebut dan bercakaran.

Eirsa.

Kalau dia dah merajuk tu, nak memujuk memang satu hal yang berbeza yang menuntut level kesabaran yang tinggi. Dulu memang aku hangin. Sebab eh kau dah kenapa nak merajuk tak bersebab. Tapi tu lah, penyeselesaialan untuk merajuk Eirsa ni memang sangat bukan dengan marah lagi, pukul apatah lagi. Dia akan lagi buat keras, melalak lebih deras. Memang kena pujuk secara halus sambil mencucukkan jarum psychology. 

Seharusnya tiap kali dia menangis dan merajuk, perlu dibiarkan terlebih dahulu. Biar dia tahu yang salahnya tetap ada, yang menangis dulu kau kat situ biar kau sedar hidup ini tidak mudah. Dan kemudian secara sedikit-sedikit mendekati dia dengan tegas. Kemudian peluk. Kemudian bersayang-sayang. Keadaan akan reda dalam 5-10 minit. Usah terburu, tidak elok untuk keadaan emosi aku dan Eirsa. Setelah itu baru mula bertanya dan menerangkan punca, sebab dan cara mengatasi. Wah!

Dan semalam masa aku kopekkan buah duku-langsat untuk dia, kami berbual-bual di meja makan. Hanya aku dan Eirsa (dia sukakan exclusivity seperti ini). Seronok berbual apabila dia bersikap attentive. Ya, dia mahukan duku-langsat yang sedang dikopek, oleh itu dia akan menanti dan lebih attentive. Masa seperti ini adalah masa terbaik untuk kami berbincang hati ke hati. 

Why did you cry? (Mommy marah). 

Why mommy marah? (Sebab Eirsa tak listen to mommy). 

Kalau Eirsa listen to mommy, mommy marah tak? (No).

Are you a good girl? (Yes. At school, teacher said Eirsa not good).

Which teacher? (Teacher V).

Why teacher said Eirsa not good (Sebab Eirsa not good dance).

But I like it when you dance. You are good!

Did Teacher V gave you stars when you did you homework? (Yes. But one only)

But Teacher V gave one star to your friends juga, kan? (Yes)

So, that means Teacher V says that Eirsa is good, your friends are good too.

Eirsa not good in dancing, but it's ok. Mommy pun ada teacher. Teacher said mommy dance not good. But it's ok. Mommy try again try try and try. And later teacher said mommy's dancing was good! (Silent)

So, Eirsa can be like mommy too. Mommy tak cry. Eirsa's dance not good but can you read? (Yes).

Can you count? (Yes).

Can you color? (Yes).

Can you run and jump and have fun? (Yes).

Waaaa! See! You are very good! (Laugh in pride).

And the conversation was continued with things about her good time jumping and running at the playground. Distraction is unavoidable when you are talking with preschoolers. Haha.

I do hope she always come back to me whenever she has any problems. Any. 

Always be my baby and friend.

Bowling, Eirsa and Eivie's First Time!

Well, Eivie bukan lah menghiraukan sangat permainan bowling ni. She's more running here and there, touching as many things as she could and achieving her best escape of 1/4 of a bowling alley. Dalam sekelip mata, ok. Dalam pada dia dekat depan papa tengah tengok bola bergolek, ok. Nasib baik papa sempat kejar dan tergolek atas lane. Lane tu kan ke licin. Haih.. Eivie.. Eivie..

At first she said, "Eirsa sit here only. Papa and mommy mayen (main), ok?" Tapi lepas dapat golekkan bola sekali, terus addicted. Longkang pun longkang lah. 80% of the games pun masuk longkang, but she enjoyed it! Tapi dia tak reti nak grip dan lempar lagi, tak pe, next time. Mommy pun tak plan nak bawak selalu, so tunggu lah beberapa bulan lagi, kot la masa tu jari dah besar dan kuat sikit.

 

 

Salah Intepritasi Atau Kreatif Dalam Mengintepritasi?

We don't know if we've overused this phase, but it looks like Eirsa has taken this further than our original intention to a funny we-don't-know-what to-say situation.

When Eivie intentionally/unintentionally hit Eirsa, knowing that the physical impact is not that bad, we'll usually go, "It's ok Eirsa. Sikit je, tak sakit kan?" But of course soon after that we'll tell Eivie not to repeat the same thing in front of Eirsa, to support the point that it's not ok to hit each other. The purpose is clear : to let Eirsa know that it Eivie might not have the intention to hurt her and that siblings do fight.

We sometimes also tell her that "It's ok, sikit je." whenever she falls down (yang jenis sikit-sikit tu), so that she could get up, buckle up and don't get upset/demotivated about it.

"Sikit je."

But seems like Eirsa has taken it into a whole new "Sikit je." level.

Yesterday Papa caught her playing with water sprayer for whatever experiment that she's up to. Papa almost slipped when stepping on the small pools of water created from her experiment. Papa asked what was she doing. And she said, "Tak pe, sikit je."

So sebenarnya nak marah ke nak gelak ni?

Ini sebenarnya bukan pertama kali Eirsa mensikitjekan perbuatan dia yang kami tegur. Dah beberapa insiden yang dia mensikitjekan mak bapak dia ni, ended up kitaorg gelak je.

Haih. Anak... Anak... :D

So yes, it's time to explain to her the different between "It's ok, tak pe, sikit je." versus "No, it's not ok but we are not angry at you and you should not do it again."

Saloma ni lah yang selalu menggelikan hati kami dengan kata-katanya.

Footnote : Dealing with a 1.5 yo and a 4.5 yo is amusing in their very own way. I would say, most of the time Eivie amuses us with her actions while Eirsa, with her words. Precious.

Cerita Fidyah Tahun Kedua

Mula-mula aku ingat nak tweets je pasal ni. Tapi panjang sangat pulak. 

Papa baru saja pulang dari menyelesaikan zakat fitrah dan membayar fidyah untuk isterinya ni ha. Fitrah untuk 4 orang, fidyah untuk 26 hari puasa yang aku belum belum dapat ganti. Ada beberapa faktor yang membuatkan aku tak sempat ganti, harapnya lepas raya tahun ni dapat lah ganti.

So, talking about fidyah. Rasanya pasal zakat, the basic information that I have, if not equal, is less than what you already know. Plus, it's good if you could refer to the correct source. Afterall, zakat fitrah is not new to you and it's a yearly vow anyway. 

So, fidyah. Aku dah dikenakan bayar fidyah ni bermula tahun lepas. When I had Eivie in my tummy for around 2 months, I was as equally sick as when I had Eirsa in my tummy around that period too. But I still could endure Ramadhan and scored 30/30 in my fasting chart. Dah memang tak lalu makan, muntah lah 5 kali sehari sampai keluar asid perut pun, memang tak boleh nak menelan apa pun lepas tu, lalu berpuasa sajalah. 

Masa mengandungkan Eivie, sama jugak. Jenis muntah-muntah hatta terhidu nafas suami sekali pun (terbau kari pun boleh bikin marah), keluar air perut pahit warna kuning, sama je. Tapi, kali ni saya tak boleh berpuasa. Akan rasa sangat letih, boleh pengsan. And I scored 0/30 in my fasting chart for year 2011. Tak pe, tak de rezeki. Tak payah sedih sangat sebab tu Tuhan bagi kelonggaran untuk tidak berpuasa.

In 2012, alhamdulillah, feeding Eivie lengthened my first BFF monthly visit after delivery and I could score full marks during Ramadhan. I mean puasa penuh lah walaupun dalam tempoh menyusukan. Namun begitu, dari masa lepas bersalin saaaampailah bulan puasa tahun 2012 yang sepatutnya aku mula mengganti puasa yang tertinggal pada 2011, aku tak sempat ganti. Tiap kali mula puasa, kepala akan sakit dan ada sekali tu hampir pitam. Mungkin sebab faktor keadaan yang menyusukan. All in all, tak dapat ganti langsung lalu papa kena bayar fidyah sebanyak RM51 untuk 30 hari. Memang betul, puasa dalam bulan Ramadhan dan puasa dalam selain dari bulan Ramadhan, letihnya lain.

The battle of mengganti puasa after that continued until end of Syaaban this year but I only managed to ganti 4 days only. Dah cuba tapi tu je mampu. So tahun kena bayar fidyah sebanyak RM93.60. Ini adalah mengikut kalkulator yang disediakan di laman web Lembaga Zakat Selangor.

Namun begitu. 

Petugas kat Zakat KL pagi tadi bagi info lebih terang pada papa. Begini ceritanya :

1) Klasifikasi aku tak boleh puasa adalah sebab diri sendiri, bukan sebab bayi. Aku yang tak larat nak puasa, padahal kalau aku puasa, bayi tetap berupaya membesar dalam rahim (macam kes Eirsa, aku larat puasa, dah 4 tahun pon anak dara tu). Lalu, aku perlu ganti dan bayar fidyah.

2) TAPI. Jumlah fidyah untuk kes aku ini tak perlu digandakan pada tahun kedua jika tak dapat habis ganti pada tahun pertama, KECUALI kalau tahun pertama fidyah tidak dibayar. Oleh itu, kira-kira di atas tidak valid. Petugas mengira semula berapa perlu dibayar berdasarkan tahun tinggal puasa, tahun ganti, tahun dah bayar fidyah dan keputusannya papa perlu bayar RM46.70 sahaja.

3) Jika tidak berpuasa disebabkan anak, seperti mengandung dan kesihatan anak dalam kandungan akan tergugat kalau ibu berpuasa walaupun ibu mampu berpuasa, tidak perlu ganti hanya bayar fidyah. TAPI untuk kes ini papa tidak diterangkan dengan lebih lanjut kalau fidyah tahun kedua, ketiga dan seterusnya, adakah jumlah akan digandakan atau tidak. Jika konsep fidyah yang sama dengan kes aku, lalu ada kemungkinan bayaran setiap tahun juga adalah sama jika fidyah dibayar setiap tahun (please refer to the correct source for this, we don't have first hand information).

Begitulah adanya maklumat yang baru kami terima pagi tadi. Namun begitu panduan zakat dan fidyah ni mungkin berbeza, terserah kepada kita nak gunapakai yang mana. Sedangkan kadar zakat setiap negeri pun lain-lain, ye dak.

Till then, selamat berpuasa hari ke delapan belas.

Our First Nebulizer Experience

Yes, it's our very first. We never had any experience with it, neither Eirsa.

But Eivie yang merasmikan pengalaman ini.

We noticed that whenever she's affected with flu, it would take quite sometimes to subside. All in all, it might take around 2-3 weeks. Even with without-fail medicines regime.

We went to our regular panel clinic on Monday, she started to show sign of flu on Saturday (Eirsa yang mula-mula kena on Friday tapi alhamdulillah cepat surut), fever of around 38 Deg Celsius every night and early morning starting from Sunday. The doctor only prescribed her with the regular flu, cough and fever medicines and told us to come back after two days if fever still re-occurred (on and off basis).

Drugs (ubat lah) on, sedut hingus on, Vicks on, she still had fever at night and early in the morning. I suspected this caused by her throat; high possibility she breathed through her mouth, hidung tersumbat kot. Sapu Vicks (for baby, of course) kat tapak kaki, sarungkan stoken, bernafas ikut hidung tetapi sekali sekala ikut mulut, pun tetap tekak dia akan kering. Memang pesen tekak senang kering atau sakit, macam aku. So we brought her back to the clinic yesterday (Wednesday), but this time another doctor was in-charged.

And after checking her current body temperature and her breathings, and listening (or not so) some updated information from us, she advised us to bring Eivie straightaway to the nearest hospital's ER. I requested for antibiotics as advised by the doctor who attended Eivie on Monday, but this doctor refused. She wrote a referral letter and we left the clinic with only the letter (and syringe, aku mintak pasal hari Isnin hari tu tak bagi. kahkahkah).

Eh, takkan dah nak kena pergi hospital? I didn't think Eivie's condition was that bad. But yes, her chest ada bunyi sikit (wheezing). But it's 5.30 already I know my parents-in-law needed to prepare for berbuka meals and all.

Then my parents-in-law proposed us to bring her to her regular pediatric clinic (a bit expensive and not claimable though) for second opinions. Berdangkor-dangkor lah kami anak beranak pergi klinik jam 6.15 petang. Bawa bekal kurma dan air. Dan biskut bentuk ikan untuk anak-anak.

Lucky us there's only a patient when we arrived and we were next.

After thorough check ups (this is why I love pediatric clinics), the pediatrician prescribed her with 3 meds and of course an antibiotic. She also suggested Eivie to be on nebulizer for 5 minutes, to prevent more infection. Oh Eivie was doing fine with the nebulizer, not comfortable but not meraung meronta sepak terajang either. May be because the 'mask' was not placed directly on her face but close enough for her to breathe the gas in (note to self : bring some toys to ralit her).

And the pediatrician asked us to come back the next day (today) for follow up check up, for another round of 'nebulizing' if required. And papa reported to me this morning that Eivie didn't like the second session (he brought her pulak, gilir-gilir) and decided to cry her lungs out sampai berjejes keluar hingus. Bagus, lega sikit hidung dan paru-paru dia.

So parents, second opinions are always (very) helpful. Dan aku pelik kenapa doctor yang kendian tu tak nak suggest nebulizer. Aku rasa nampak je mesin tu kat klinik tu.

Sebelum jumpa doctor, boleh la tenang-tenang main piano.

Ini orang pun sibuk nak mengikut. When she's younger, she hated doctors. Now, she even requested to see a doctor.

I went to the clinic tumpang my parents-in-laws car, i.e no carseat. Moments di atas hanyalah 5% dari keseluruhan aksi Eivie sepanjang perjalanan. Selebihnya sama ada dia memanjat, atau melekap di cermin tingkap, atau berada di tempat kaki, atau memaut pemegang, atau aku peluk dia kekuat dan dia meronta kekuat. I could not imagine parents with young children in a car but without carseats, for more than 1 hour journey. *_*

P/S : We understand that it's perhaps wiser to bring her to the hospital, with all available the experts, equipments and assistants but we also believed that her condition was not that kind of bad. Dia sangat aktif macam biasa and only with the second opinion kami decide tak perlu bawa ke hospital (please take note that second opinion is from another expert, not from tok bomoh ke jiran ke). Tambahan dengan bulan puasa bagai, lebih mudah sekiranya rawatan dilakukan di klinik atau rumah. Tak yah la nak cakap "Bawak je lah budak tu pergi spitaaaaal" pada kami sangaaaat. Kihkihkih.

The Heart-Stealer Eivie, So Far

When I first held Eivie in my hands, she was crying for milk. Minutes later, she opened her eyes widely, made and eye contact with me and smiles. Yes, she smiled on her very first day! From then onward only God know how much I love this little person, and the feeling gets stronger daily. Eivie, without having to steal the same amount of love that I have for Eirsa, their papa and my own mother, creates a very special space in my heart.

Eivie had her first tooth when she was 8 months old; 3 months earlier than Eirsa, had her first steps at 1 year, 1 month and 3 weeks old, more or less the same like Eirsa, still enjoying breastfeeding at her own convenience and I still cook for her daily meal. But with Eirsa, I could and had to pump 16 oz of breastmilk per day for her daily consumption at daycare but for Eivie, she settles down with only 7 oz breastmilk while at her daycare. I could not pump as much as back then but alhamdulillah it's still sufficient for her.

Eivie is easier to take care of as compared to Eirsa. Perhaps we were new parents back when Eirsa was a baby but one of the obvious things was that Eivie was a night-sleeper while Eirsa was a day-sleeper. Only God knows how hard it was for me when I was in confinement 4 years ago and thus perhaps He made it easier for me when I had Eivie.

Eivie is now a hardworking beginner talker, she starts talking in some understandable words as early as 1 year old. Unlike Eirsa, her first proper words perhaps in the late second year of her life (even now she still could not construct a good complete sentence, perhaps due to our bi-language approach). She can pronounce some words like mumay (mommy), papa, atuk, tatak, ball, tutup, habis, beh (bird), nanak, mamam, nana (banana), tek (cat), pish (fish), beh (bear), yayak, hello, adoi, baby, dirty, jom, thank you and even airplane! (and some other words aku tak boleh ingat semua).

Eivie is such a sweetheart, I could just gomol her all day long (of course dia akan tolak muka aku dan meronta-ronta), despite she could sometimes be too clingy with me. Saja mengada. She eats well, she nenen well, but she's such a light-sleeper. Senang terjaga. When the time was not right (nak tumbuh gigi, hot season), she would wake up every hour due to discomfort. On good days (not always), she could sleep from 10pm until 3-4 am for milk. Normally she-ll have 2-3 feeding session at night. I don't know how do some babies could sleep through the night, the parent should not ask for more. Haha.

Dear 1 year and 3.5 months old Eivie, everyone loves you dearly, baby. Please don't grow up too soon.

On Potty Training

You've got to undergo the messiness of potty training, the high level of patience required, the unknown time completion. And of course, another kid to be attended to, a baby.

I've been patiently waiting for Eirsa to be ready for her PT. We started when she was three. It was just a total failure back then when she decided to be OK with her wet wet panties and pants and not to mention, the poops. She showed very little sign of readiness when she refused to have diaper off and refused to pee in the toilet, even in her potty.

Early this year we started back the PT regime, slow but steady. Started with every weekend, then later at her daycare. At home she's so prone to 'accident', sebab leka bermain. But at her daycare, she scored 100% on the first day! Requested voluntarily to go to the loo for both pee pee and poo poo session and requested not to put her diaper on. While at home, we have to request her to do so, even that there's once a while 'accident' including pooping in her panties (terjadi waktu dia berak tak ketul lalu tahi merembes ke setiap panties dan pada masa tu aku tak pakaikan training pants dan aku malas nak basuh panties yang dah terkena tahi dengan dahsyatnya dan aku buang panties itu). So I would say she's only 70% successfully potty trained while at home, plus she would still have her diaper on during night sleep.

All in all my approach was simple; slow and steady. Start whenever both you and the kid are ready. You can do it for some 7 straight days with faster result, or you can start with weekendly. And even I have to choose the latter due to the time that we have at home, we would still continue with the 'psychological approach'; have a quick but consistent conversation with Eirsa on she is a big girl, she is kakak, a big girl doesn't cicin and yayak in diaper, a big girl cicin and yayak in toilet, mommy doesn't wear diaper, papa doesn't wear diaper, only babies like Eivie wear diaper and so on. We also told her that she needed to tell her carer when she wanted to cicin, weeks before the actual PT at the daycare started. Alhamdulillah. It did not happen instantly but alhamdulillah. And most of all, don't get stressed about it.

I would also say that training pants are good investment, they minimize the aftermath of any incidents, including the number two. The inner surface is designed as such all dirts are easily removed.

3/4 way to diaper free! Good job Rainbow!

Wordless Wednesday

Of Preparation of Home-Cooked Babyfood

It can be tiring to prepare for your baby's food every 2-3 days. Or at least for me.

I'm a full time working mom and I hardly cook for my family during the weekdays. Else, I'll be exhausted of doing things before and after the cooking. And even though cooking for Eivie's food is easy, but the preparation, the choppings are still time-consuming.

So I'll buy and prepare the raw ingredients days ahead.

Once we are running out of ingredients, we'll purchase new ones and I'll siang and chopped all ingredients at once. We'll use all the ingredients as long as the freshness permits.

For chicken, it's ok to clean and wash and freeze it.

But for veges, I would usually siang all but not wash them. Get rid off the rotten part and inshaAllah they will still tahan for another 1+ weeks.

Home-prepared Baby Food.

Dasar pemalas, aku 'screen capture' kan je perbualan dengan seorang kawan, perihal cara aku buat makanan Eivie. Buat masa ni si kecil molek ni masih malas mengunyah, lalu semua makanan pun tetap kena diperhalusi.

Oh ya. Apabila baby dah jangkau 8 bulan ke atas, boleh cuba broccoli dan cauliflower pula. Ada yang cuba awal, tapi kenapa aku mula cuba pada Eivie lewat? Sebab ada yang mengatakan kedua-dua sayur ni bersifat gassy. Boleh bagi kembung kat baby. So aku memang malas nak carik hal yang boleh membuatkan aku tak tidur malam, lalu aku ikut guideline tu. So far Eivie boleh terima kedua-dua sayur dengan baik sekali.