Re-prioritize

I notice at this age, I work not because I like to work, but I work because of money. Which results to low job satisfaction, which results to easily get de-motivated when I feel the workload doesn't match the pay, which results to consistent feeling of Monday blues, which results to stop makan gaji and be my own boss instead. But I know to be my own boss is not easy. The journey, the risk, the struggle is going to be overwhelming and I'm afraid that I might stumble even before I start walking. Besides, the benefits offered by current company is too good to let go and that the whole family cannot depend on one's salary only and the little luxurious that we are enjoying now is too schweeeet to let go.


After many sighs, I chose and hoped to be able to sustain, to go through my daily life the way I want it; if I can do it, then I'll do it. If the bosses are asking for moon, then I'll just provide them with moon cake, since that is what I could afford. The rest I'll surrender to God; which is my utmost priority that I always, always fail to fulfill.


It really makes me realize (not all the time, though. Bad me, bad me.), we are reaching up to the sky and often put lower priority to our solat, that includes procrastinating solat. Least that we know that God gives you the time and He gives you the 'kelonggaran' to compulsorily perform your prayers only five times daily and yet you are so busy doing anything else. Duniawi. And least that you remember that He can get all the time that He loans you anytime, darling.


As such, with the low motivation that I'm having now, I choose to just go with the flow. To do things within my control and limit, to re-prioritize all things that require me, to believe that if I could not meet the bosses request for the stars then it is OK, since God knows that I've done my best and that God will somehow help me to get through the way, as long as I put all His rukun Islam at top of my priority list, to ensure that I appreciate and be thankful to what God has given so far, especially the health, family, work (yes, at least I or we have a job, aight?) and all the goodness that I have now. Syukur.

Jom solat!

God, please guide us on the straight path, the path of those who have received your grace; not the path of those who have brought down wrath, nor of those who wander astray.